Life to the full

Friendlessness ....

2009-04-13T22:09:00.000-07:00

Ecclesiastes 4 NIV

Oppression, Toil, Friendlessness

1 Again I looked and saw all the oppression that was taking place under the sun:
I saw the tears of the oppressed— and they have no comforter;
power was on the side of their oppressors—
and they have no comforter.

And I declared that the dead,
who had already died,
are happier than the living,
who are still alive.

But better than both
is he who has not yet been,
who has not seen the evil
that is done under the sun.

4 And I saw that all labor and all achievement spring from man's envy of his neighbor.
This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

5 The fool folds his hands
and ruins himself.

6 Better one handful with tranquillity
than two handfuls with toil
and chasing after the wind.

7 Again I saw something meaningless under the sun:

8 There was a man all alone;
he had neither son nor brother.
There was no end to his toil,
yet his eyes were not content with his wealth.
"For whom am I toiling," he asked,
"and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?"
This too is meaningless—
a miserable business!

9 Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:

10 If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!

11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?

12 Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

How apt as it speaks of my thoughts and situations now...

A faith that can live Yes or No with Him

2009-04-02T10:01:00.000-07:00

Can I leave things with God when there’s nothing that I can do?
Can I leave things with God once I have done my duty?
Can I live with bad results? Or will I only accept good results from God?
When the results are not what I am looking for, can I still leave it with Him? Or do I only trust God when the results are good?
How Big is God to me?
Will I trust only when He keeps giving the right answer?
Can I really trust God when the result is the wrong one?

No model ans to the above. I just want to have a faith to live with Yes or No with God. That’s faith, that’s my commitment to Jesus

Facilitation Certification Interview in less than 12 hrs

2009-02-23T05:26:00.000-08:00

In less than 12 hrs, I will be going for my facilitation certification interview. Having been working in RP for 2yrs and 5 months, this will be another milestone in my career in the educational field.

Some of my colleagues ask if i am getting nervous, amazingly, I am not nervous at all. Maybe tml before going into the room I will be? :P

As I was reading my portfolio which I submitted 4 months ago for this certification, I was reminded once again on why am I doing what I am doing. It brought back many sweet memories with my classes and valuable lessons that I have learnt. Sometimes due to the hustle and bustle of life and the many demands to meet, I have inevitably forget the reason why I am here, this portfolio as well as the teaching philsophy statement serves as a good reminder and enable me to revisit many fundamental core beliefs that I hold on to even till now. It so refreshing to be reminded once again on what education really mean especially when I get to learn more in my current part-time masters at NIE.

As for the certification, I see it more as part of the process in my career in education. I dun have to prove to anyone how good I am , just have to be authentic and verbalise what I believe in and the experiences that I have encountered & areas to improve. I guess this is the assurance and the peace from God to just do my best and what is right in His eye. I want to experience God like how I experienced Him in the many interviews that I have been through. The confidence that is not from myself but in Him is a super good feeling!

Due the high "failure" rate and big ego that I have, I used to hold onto a lot that I must die die get it through for the first time and it shall also be my last time. But now, I see it in a very different light, whether I will be certified is secondary now. I will go with a heart to share about my experiences and also my learnings to the panel. As for the outcome, I shall leave it to God. :)

Joyce's personal teaching philosophy statement: (an abstract from my portfolio for this certification)

"I can briefly summarise my belief into three components which is seeing the value of stirring the head, heart and soul of individual learners.

In the past, like some of my students, I used to dislike thinking and was not able to recognize the value and importance of good thinking skills. Having been through the experience that I had, I recognise the importance of having a sound mind, developing good reasoning and analytical thinking skills. The realisation has enabled me to learn better and hence become a more developed individual. I draw a parallel to my past experience to what some of my student are going through that many a times it is not so much that they do not want to learn but they do not know how to. It is not so much of telling them what to think but guiding and providing opportunity to let them learn how to. As I reflect on how I have a breakthrough in my own personal learning, I am convicted that it is possible to see our students having the ability and potential to be life-long learners and also to develop their thinking skills. Having said that, my fundamental role is to provide and create environment that will harness individual’s potential, like a designer but not a “controller”. Setting an exemplary lifestyle as thinker will help me to grow and develop more as a facilitator. As the saying goes, “Thinking facilitators develops thinking students”.

In order to stir the heart of my students, there is a need to be sensitive to their feelings where students feel safe yet it is challenging enough to trigger them to think. To elaborate a little more on this aspect, basically, it is for me to understand how they feel in a learning environment which includes inter-personal interaction at different level in class, within a team and 1-1 level and how these interactions help to enhance the learning process. Firstly, I value knowing and connecting interpersonally with each student in my class, especially asking each individual about his/her thoughts, activities and opinions during the meetings. As a result of the rapport and connection established, it helps to create an environment where some students including those who were quite passive and quiet to become more willing to share their opinions and views. At the end of the semester, they see a positive change of themselves, identifying their hidden strengths and have a glimpse of what learning actually mean that it is not a chore but it can be a joy, something which some have never experienced before.

While stirring the head involves the mind and heart involves being sensitive to learner’s concerns and needs, stirring the soul to me means to see them come to terms with the importance of learning and eventually to grow in maturity in their understanding and applying what they have learnt to their daily living."

Seasons of my life then and now

2009-02-15T05:05:00.000-08:00

What is the season that I am currently at?

I have to be aware of the season that God is bringing me now and identify the areas that I can grow in.

I am really thankful for a new care group that I am currently leading and the privilege of taking care of God's flock. I am very excited though initially I was quite apprenhensive. God's assurance of growth and to wait in expectancy for greater things to happen in His timing has rather strong and a constant reminder and motivation for me to do my best in taking care and being faithful to the people that He has entrusted under my care.

This is going to be a very challenging year for me. The season that I am currently going through is very different from 3 years ago. 3 years ago the decision to quit my first job, to stay back in Tertiary ministry and serve is a memorable chapter in my journey with Christ, this is a significant chapter, one that I will never ever forget of what God has done during that season of my life. This chapter finished well. :)

I can remember vividly a sharing by a brother that when He prayed for me, God wants to assure me that all along the years ever since coming to know Him, He has BLESSED, PROTECTED and PRESERVED me. Yes and I can testify that I have been blessed and protected by God in many ways. Blessed with physical & spiritual family who love me a lot, blessed financially, blessed in my inner being and my walk with God, blessed in my ministry and the fruits due to the outcome of obedience by His grace and many countless e.gs. God has protected & preserved this heart of mine which has the potential to fail & many time it does fail to love, fail to perservere, fail to believe. But He has believed in me and preserved me all this while and because of that I cannot help but to be grateful to Him. I want to continue to do my best to honour God and please Him. I am assured that my Father in heaven will continue to protect, bless and preserve me. :)

So what about now? I shared to my spiritual mentor about the issues and areas that I am trying to make sense of currently. This period is quite tormenting for me emotionally as I have difficulty making sense of what I am going through but I have to learn to be patient cos God will slowly help me to understand why He is bringing me through this emotionally draining period.

This is a season of a challenging lifestyle. It is an opportunity for me to grow to another level of managing my life -- work, part-time studies, ministry, family & relationship with people & business planning With the limited time I have, I have to learnt to be more discipline with lesser amount of time as compared to others to utilise what I have to the maximum. I have to adjust to a new lifestyle, I have the assurance that with good management of my time, it is very possible to be adapted to these challenges and God is with me in these.

God help me to be a good steward of what you have placed in my life. I want to do my best @ work, in my studies, ministry and spend quality time with my family and friends.

Season 2009: enjoy my studies, be a good testimony @ work & @ home (experience breakthroughs at home!), take good care of YG 1 care group and growth (quality & quantity), female discipleship & quality shpdg, biz planning, development of Events dept (Ops ministry for Uni-YA group) and most imptly to grow in my relationship with God (knowing Him at a deeper level and experience His empowerment in ever facet of my life!)

Anticipating with great EXPECTANCY in 2009!

Some thoughts & Preparation for DIY popiah party

2009-01-29T05:45:00.000-08:00

Have been thinking about something & even had nightmares about it.. Been bothered for many days and it sort of intensified during these period. I am in the midst of making sense of it, perhaps it is not something that God wants me to make sense now?.... Relying on Him and anchoring my emotions in Him.

These 2 months have been rather stretched period for me.. I can still remember vividly that I even experienced the intensity to such a great extent that's beyond me and the loneliness in fighting the battles was horrible. Thank God that I have Him that He never fail to comfort and strengthen me when I need help and guidance. Man might fail but God never. When I am alone with the many issues to handle, people to counsel, deadlines to meet, projects to handle beyond my limitations & when I needed support the most, He is the One who's been with me and He is in control. Seriously speakly, I am really very tired physically & emotionally in these 2 months but spiritually alive cos of Jesus. Dear Jesus, Thank you. :)

Currently, in the midst of preparation for my department's Popiah Party for tomorrow! It's my 7th time doing catering, with not much publicity and at ad-hoc basis, I think God really blessed me via word of mouth where people approached to taste my dad's and my cooking. This is a mini-project that I have embarked ever since last July to gather feedback on home-cooked food & new recipes before going full fledge into this biz. There's one catering project each month which is quite manageable for me as I am currently working full time, part-time studying and managing different aspect of my life like ministry and family time. When I think about it, I realised that I have grown in multi-tasking skills and capacity to manage stress and more things. God answered my prayer to increase my capacity to love (am stretched during this period to be patient and love despite that it's difficult) & He has added new skill sets so that I can be effective and efficient. I want to live my life with greater effectiveness and efficiency to accomplish more for the Kingdom, to impact and to influence more.

Next week will be a good break for me, on leave for 2 days! Looking forward to this retreat where I can finally plan my year and set specific short-term goals for my long term plan.

Reflection and meditation on Galatians 5

2009-01-19T23:46:00.000-08:00

From the recent Unit Meeting where we meditated on Galatians 5, God brought me to deeper insights and spoke to me about what it means to be free in Christ and to live by the Spirit.

Initially when I was reading Gal 5, there were many thoughts and questions in my mind. I was asking God that many times the options available to lead a godly life are limited. So how then can this be freedom? I was quite confused but it becomes clearer as I meditated and related it to my journey with Him.

Freedom to many people is to be able to do whatever we want. I used to have that mindset as well. That is freedom in some sense but usually it end up with disappointments and unfulfilment. Have you ever experience that before?

True freedom in Christ is not what the world thinks and believe as it is coupled with obedience sometimes even sacrifice at the point of submission but the aftertaste of the inner peace, joy and satisfaction as well as assurance from God is the real freedom that truly sets me free from my selfish carnal nature and bondage of sins.

Gal 1:1 "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then and do not let yourselves by burdened again by a yoke of slavery."

Have a taste of what it means to receive freedom in Christ today! :)

Frozen Dreams

2008-08-25T03:03:00.001-07:00

Freedom of expression, gracefulness, outburst of passion, the sense of excitement and fulfilment.

These words came to me when I saw this picture. Those words best describe the days when I performed on stage with the freedom of expression, to do something that I really enjoy with tremendous satisfaction that no words can describe. After thinking for awhile, I really miss those days where I performed on stage, dancing freely and joyfully. This is one passion that's been hidden and frozen for many years.... many many years.... It's no wonder that recently, I am feeling something missing... I did what I have to do daily, but still a part of me is still not fulfilled....

At the age of 7, I picked up ballet and was exposed to this form of dance. There was a selection for different ECA, I was selected to join ballet. My dance teacher saw the potential in me and trained me right from Primary 1. I always look forward to school not because of studies but because of my ECA then. To do something that I can excel and enjoy is really a blessing itself. I do not have to worry or be fearful like my peers because the passion and the enjoyment just propels me to practice beyond the time that was required. I began to excel and performed at different places beyond school's stage.

After 4 years of dancing, my dance teacher recommended me to learn outside so that I can be certified. There might be a possibility to pursue further in this area since I have the gifting and talents. She persuaded my parents and encouraged them for me to learn outside where professional ballet teacher can coach me but they declined as I was learning piano and the fees was already too high to manage. At the age of 11, I have in mind what to pursue for my career and vocation-- music and dance. At the age of 5, unlike many children who were forced by their parents to learn music, dance or be involved in other activities, I was a kid who actually told my parents what I want to learn. Maybe you might think that I was a very driven kid but I would say that I am quite certain since young in the area that I really enjoy and which area I can really derive joy from. That's why I was determined, even to the extent of going beyond the constraints.

I love my parents very much but it was really a regret that I could not pursue further in Ballet when my request was declined. I dun usually give up easily when I am committed to a cause, especially when I know I have found my niche.

Before I come to know God, in my loneliest days, it was dance and music which accompanied through my lowest moment. By nature, I am someone who seldom express myself vulnerably through words, it through music and dance where I can fully express my emotions, thoughts, joy and unhappy moments. It is also an avenue to vent my anger without having the fear of being judged by anyone. It's through these forms of arts that reveal my vulnerable side of me. Maybe not everyone can identify fully with me or perhaps it is too profound.

The dream of setting up a music and dance school crashed at the age of 11. The dream of becoming a pianist or a piano teacher crashed at the age of 18 when I stopped pursuing diploma in music. Till now, the hurt is still there. I can't lie to myself that music and dance are not my passion. God has given me these talents for a purpose. Hope to revive it, someday that it will be thawed and revived.

The day will come.

I am a human not a machine

2008-08-24T05:59:00.000-07:00

Today's stormy and rainy weather best describe how I have been feeling for the past 3 days. Like running a marathon, I have come to the last lap before this chapter of operational ministry ends. Somehow, I think I am really tired physically and emotionally, to some extent that affects my spiritual health as well.

I have not been feeling well since sat and today, hate the feeling of being physically weak and a mind that cannot focus and think properly. I realise that my health has deteroriated ever since early this year largely due to stress, fast pace and demanding lifestyle that I faced for past 1 yr plus. If given a choice, I wouldn't want to live my life this way. Dislike that fact that my family has to be worried for me when I fall ill, dislike the experience of not able to stay healthy and lead a more productive life. Why must I fall sick again and again?

Yesterday afternoon, I had a good catch up with some of my peers from the adults group. It was a fruitful time of learning about missions and also their experience in courtship. The sharing by a brother who went to Kenya for short term missions trip was insightful and I gained a new perspective about church planting. Based on his sharing, I admired that heart and the conviction of the church planters. Though I do not know them personally, they must have a very deep conviction from God, burden and love for the people to stay and impact in a culture that's not favourable, a place where the conscience of majority is seared. They have been there for 4 yours, with 8 members in the CG who have never said a word of appreciation to them (FYI, that's common in their culture to take things for granted). Two criteria were given by the church planters to those who are interested in missions in Kenya. Firstly one has to be strong emotionally, if discourage easily, please do not go there. Secondly, a prayerful lifestyle. I really agree especially on the first part, I draw a correlation on my journey of staying back that without a resilient heart and emotionally stability, there's no way one can serve effectively. Question that came to my mind while listening were, how's my love for people? Have I grown to be more loving? Am I willing to be used by God to love people unconditionally? If I cannot handle the stress and challenges locally, what makes me think that I can be ready and go church planting in future? Hard questions to evaluate my life and my love for God and people. Areas that I need to grow.

Among the people who turned up (5 of us in all), 3 are currently in courtship. They shared about their courtship experiences, the seminars and discussion meetings that they attended so far. I also get to know that relationship and finding a life partner is quite a major concern in their ministry currently. I was prompted to ask this question which have been in my mind for some time. Out of curiosity, I asked, "why do you want to find a life partner?" Each response given was different to certain extent, one said it's because of needs (A natural inclination to have someone who can shared your burden and give you support vice versa), the other bro said it's time and he felt he is ready to pursue this aspect of his life while seeking his life purpose in Christ and the sister mentioned before going into a relationship she felt she has grown to some extent, she realised about her weaknesses and how she has grown as she manage this aspect of her life. I think though different people gave different reasons why they want to find a life partner, but it falls into the category that all of us (as long as we are beings with emotions) will desire a deep relationship maybe another word to use is soul mate, one who can standby and support you. I am actually glad that most of them mentioned about extending God's kingdom as couples and with the hope that they can serve God to a greater extent than when they are single.

Interestingly, I thought my heart will feel a sense of envy but I am a proud single during the meeting. To be very frank, 1 year ago, I might feel the envy and ask God when is my turn. At the meeting, instead of anxiety and envy that I thought I might have, there's peace and assurance in my heart. I am not worried or anxious about this aspect of my life. Sometimes as I reflect and think, maybe if i were to move on 2 years ago, I might be like them now, possibly in courtship but nothing beats a journey and life that obeys God's call to learn to wait (I am speaking my personal life). If I were to move on pre-maturely knowing that God has called me to stay back, I would not be able to know and hear more from Him with regards to my life purpose. Exciting years coming ahead if my studies application approve, the possibility of realising a business plan and a new ministry that's coming ahead. Whether or not to find a life partner now is secondary, but finding my life purpose in Christ is priority. I believe eventually that aspect will also fall into place and become clearer as I continue seek my life purpose in Christ.

I am thankful to God that he preserved me in this area to learn to wait and be patient despite of very real temptations at work and the seemingly good opportunities that arises. Like what I mentioned to all my sheep, I would want to emphasise again on my conviction.

1+1 cannot be less than 2
1+1 cannot be equal to 2
1+1 MUST BE MORE than 2 (Synergy to serve God and extent KOG)
Being a single and living out a maximised life in Him is better than getting married and living a compromised life. I hope I can continue to live up my conviction. Jesus, pls continue to preserve me.

D04: The Vine & the branch

2008-08-20T08:23:00.000-07:00

Jesus + me = Fruits (Products)
Copyrighted (Designed by JP on 20th Aug 2008)

Finally I get to apply some techniques of what I learnt from my PPT 2007 course.

This is my meditation passage for the entire day from John 15:1-5, NKJV

" I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that I may bear more fruit. You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; without Me you can do nothing."

The vine -- Jesus (Ultimate source of energy, the lifeline that provides nutrients and produces fruits.

The branch -- me.

The branch is nothing and cannot bear fruit on its own. How true it is that sometimes no matter how hard we try, how much effort we put in, sometimes even by our own strength and willpower, things change but it's always shortlived. I don't have to be worried about producing fruits, it's a natural process or outcome when my life is right with Him. Fruits comes naturally with a deep relationship with God.

It's time to return to the source. It's time to set aside my busyness and the 101 things that needs my attention, just at the feet of Jesus, listening to him and abide in him.

I want this connection, deep connection with God, to be rejuvenated, to be alive spiritually in Him daily!

Personal prayer: Be connected and abide in Him every moment. :)

One month to live: Day 2 (Part 1)

2008-08-18T08:30:00.000-07:00

The first thing I jotted yesterday which I hope to change if I had one month to live is to quit my job. The next day after jotting that down, I am back to work... LOL. (Disclaimer here: FYI, I do enjoy my work just that when you know you are about to "die", you wouldn't want to spend 1/3 of your day knowing that you only have 30 days left still at work...)

I struggled with the thought that how will this 30 days-to-live lifestyle challenge help or change me? Eventually, I had an ans to my question. First of all, I need to come to terms with the fact that it is not whether I quit my job that matters but how I use my time. And also, it's not as if I am really going to die in one month's time, God only you know. I still need to fulfill my basic responsibilities at work and for ministry.

I woke up this morning in a very lazy mode.. Not so much as if I am about to "die" in 29 days... Haha. (If you are totally lost, pls read my previous entry and you will have a better understanding)

Sluggishness overwhelmed me... the lazy and unmotivated me was greatly at work. My mind was saying "chey.. this is like any other day, so how is it going to be different?" I even had the thought of skipping my external course... (My carnal nature almost win but thankfully, I got off my bed in time)

I attended PPT 2007 training course, I was thankful to God that I did not allow my ill-discipline nature take over as I benefitted from the course to some extent. I also realise one thing about myself which is not a new relevation but a reinforcement. I have short attention span and super low energy. What energises me is when I am engaged in activities that stirs my interest or I see value in.

My learning style is not through conventional mode of learning through lecture, cos of that I really suffered a lot during my JC and Uni days... I learnt best through doing, reflecting & learning from my mistakes, I learnt most when I get to discuss with people on topic of interest, sparring of ideas when my mind is at tip-top condition (clear and active). I know myself well, no matter how hard I try when there's no inspiration, I can't work or contribute effectively. That's why I will usually give myself some buffer space to slow down, usually that when inspiration and ideas will come naturally.

The course was good in a way I can still multi-task while listening to the trainer and reply to emails and msn concurrently. My work has indeed trained me well.. hehe. :P

Supposed to meet Florence but she is down with flu. Flor, do get well soon! God has used you for Uni ESS, He will protect your health and heal you as well! :)

Finally, I had some time to slow down my pace after weeks of tight and packed schedule to breathe slower and think deeper. :) I am also glad to spend some time watching taiwan drama series with my sibilings and parents. Really treasure these bits of luxury and enjoy the moments together.

God, thank you for the day. :)

04.02.1982 - ?

2008-08-18T07:55:00.000-07:00

Recently, I came across this book which caught my attention and I bought it. The title of the book is -- "One month to live".

My day 1 (Reflection and part of chapter one from the book)
Nothing focuses a person’s priorities in life like learning he is about to die. Many of us would suddenly realise we have spent our lives on things that were not very important. “When and then” thinking and do something for God that really matters. What matter is whether we have accomplished God’s purpose for our life.

How to experience life to the fullest by living passionately and purposefully, the way we were created to live. We need to embrace the fact that our time on earth is limited, we can live deliberately.

"Death is more universal than life, everyone dies but not everyone lives." -- Alan Sachs

Most of us if we knew we only had one month to live, would live differently. We would be more authentic about who we are and more deliberate about how we spent our time. But such a contrast begs the question: What keeps us from living this way now?

Why can't all of us live more of our life as if we are dying? Isn’t that how we were meant to live in the first place? To discover what we’re made for and to utilize our unique gifts in the limited amount of time we’re given.

What did I live for? Whom have I love? What were my passions? What were my biggest mistakes and regrets? (Questions that really cause me to ponder)

We don’t have control over many things in life. We didn’t get to decide where we were born, who our parents are, or which time period and culture we face. We don’t get to decide the dates on our gravestones, we don’t know when our time on this earth will be up. It could be next week, or next year, or decades away. Only God Knows. Our lives are in His hands. But there is one thing we have a vast amount of control over. We get to decide how we are going to use our dash. We get to choose how to spend the little dash of time between the two dates of my earthly existence. What are you spending yours on?

Ps 90:12, TLB “Teach us to number our days and recognize how few they are, help us to spend them as we SHOULD.

James 4: 14 “Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a while and then vanishes”

Why must we wait until we know we had one month to live, then we would look at everything from a different perspective?
Many things that you do now that seem so important would immediately become meaningless. You would have total clarity about what matters most and you wouldn’t hesitate to be spontaneous and risk your heart.

I have made a list of 5 things I’d change about my life if I know I only had a month to live.

My entire CG is journeying through this 30 days challenge (i.e. one month to live lifestyle) as we learn to revisit our priorities in Christ and to be more deliberate on what God values and what turly matter to us the most.

As expected, what was mostly shared with regards to the 5 things that they hope to change, mainly fall into 2 categories. Spending more intentional time with God and with our love ones. Learn to give more and bless others. It's no longer so much about task and projects to fulfill, achievements that we hope to see but on what we know in our heart that truly matter in Christ and to us.

5 List of things that I hope to change if I have only 1 month to live
1. Quit my job and reflect how I have been leading my 26 years of life (Recount my blessings and how God has changed me, how I have grown in Him, jot down all my spiritual milestones)

2. Spend more deliberate and quality time with my family and show more love and concern to them. (Be a better sister and a better daughter, I feel I have not done enough)

3. Through my action and verbal communication to show appreciation to the people who are very dear in my life, to love them the way they feel loved that includes my family and friends who have impacted my life especially those who have yet to know God. (As simple as catching up and have a great time spent together)

4. To jot down every single day how I spent and journalise down the moments lived each day

5. To live more for God and for others and less for myself

If you only had one month to live, what would you change?

Stellarium- 3D photo-realistic skies in real time

2008-08-05T21:27:00.000-07:00

Those of you who are interested & into star gazing, this is a must software to download. (Btw, it's free!). It depicts the skies of different location in real time!

Download and you will know what I mean.
Here's the link,
http://www.download.com/Stellarium/3000-2054_4-10072276.html

I happened to know this from a colleague who used to work in Science Centre and very much into astronomy. It has always been my dream to go to some countries where the night sky is filled with shimmering, shiny stars. I can imagine myself getting out of hustle and bustle of daily routine, lying on the ground, gazing at the stars & admiring His Creation. This is simply therapeutic to the soul. Planning for the day to come. :)

2008-08-05T10:19:00.000-07:00

Had a good meet up with Jo-N for shepherding, went to a familiar place for dinner at Shaw place. The Thai food is cheap and nice. We had home-made ice-cream too! I ordered chocolate stout. Yes! Stout.. Alcoholic Ice-cream. Haah I love to try new things and especially extremely big portions when it comes to food. (Those who know me well, will say Amen! LOL)

While saying grace for the food, I sensed a figure standing besides me... When I opened my eyes, I saw Eda. It was a pleasant surprise. She was my ex-colleague (good pal too) in my first job at Amdon Consulting. We chatted for a few mins where she mentioned that she is still in her current job very busy everyday, Sat teaches Piano etc. (This is sthg that I always hope to get in touch cos I used to teach piano too). When I asked, "So busy then how to rest?". She replied, " Sunday lor." When I heard that, somehow within my heart I know she has stopped attending church for really a long time. As she has lost my contact, she noted my number down. Before she bid goodbye for her swim, I said we must really catch up one of these days and she agreed. She was one dear colleagues whom I outreached and received Christ in Hope during USM days. As I was in an operational group, I brought her to another CG. Somehow, things did not work out for her and eventually she did not stay for long.

I believe it is not a coincident for her to bump into me. I must catch up with this friend soon as well as with the hope that one day, she will be re-connected back to God and this spiritual family. I was also reminded at the same time that I bumped into my secondary school friend at the same spot one month ago, one of my good friends in lower secondary school. She was the first few brave souls to outreach to me. (You must be wondering why brave souls? Well, for more information, you can ask me directly)

God, I believe that you are telling me to catch up with friends whom I have lost touch for some time. Yes, I will and intend to make a deliberate attempt despite of my busy schedule. I do treasure them cos they have played important roles in my life (Especially going through my ups and downs with me)

The time after dinner with Jo-N was great, after consecutive weeks of teachings, she requested to just talk. Ok, sheep like what you said we did. It was a fruitful time of being vulnerable to each other about different aspects of our lives and deepening our relationship. I mentioned one seemingly good opportunity that arised some time ago but I declined. Perhaps it is not His plan for me.

My relationship with Jo-N is one that I treasure a lot, likewise with my other sheep too. No amount of money can exchange the time invested to build others. The reward of seeing and witnessing the growth of the people that you mentor is unexplainable.

Jo-N, continue to keep the spiritual momentum in experiencing God and loving people! :)

Safe in Your Arms

2008-08-04T06:03:00.000-07:00

This is my latest music composition.

https://www.yousendit.com/download/Q01GSXR3dWNLVlZjR0E9PQ

The inspiration came while I was practicing for Praise and Worship on Saturday morning, God inspired a melody within my heart specially for Holy Communion segment. I have no idea what the service leader (claramae) is going to share on that day but God gave me the inspiration to compose a melody that was light hearted, cheerful and the background was like a musical box playing. The image of a father and a little child playing joyfully at a playground was on my mind as I played the melody. I was reminded of my relationship with my heavenly father, like the child having a child-like faith before Him, purely enjoying His presence and the sense of security in His arms. I really enjoyed dwelling in His presence playing the melody that was inspired by God.

To my amazement, the song coincide very nicely to what clara shared about celebrating her 8th anniversary of her relationship wtih God!

Enjoy! :)

Apologetic is the seasoning, the gospel is the main course

2008-08-01T10:36:00.000-07:00

TGIF! :)

Recently one of my sheep is desiring to know more about other religion in order to share more to her friends and I just came across this website, thought of revisiting and learn more as I have always been interested in apologetics as well as a resource for her to know more.

This is the website,
Is the Koran Accurate? Ravi Zacharias explains
http://technorati.com/videos/youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DoqtISZJ1A9s

The following comments by him struck me deeply and indeed very true.

"You will find that an answer to question the biggest danger to become cerebral that we forget the source of the answer. Sometimes a relationship with Christ is far greater than any cerebral answer that we can give to a particular question. The transformation that the Holy Spirit brings in the heart is more powerful than any arguement that a Christian Apologist can give.

Apologetic is the seasoning, the gospel is the main course. You do not want too much of the seasoning or you will make the main course incibit. Support the argument justifiably, but it is Christ that you need to lift up and it is the Holy Spirit that brings about the change within the human heart. And in the sermon it is the Spirit and the Word that comes together that brings about conviction. An argument may remove the doubt but it is only the Holy Spirit to convict the truth."

This is my prayer and area that I need to grow more-- Love people with a genuine love and lift up Christ wherever I am.

Rom 1:16 "I am not ashamed of the gospel because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes. "

Learning Life's Lessons

2008-07-25T19:10:00.000-07:00

Guess what? This is my first entry as a new blogger. Those who know me, are you surprised? :)

In the past, I always have this mindset that it is high maintenance to have a blog and regularly updating it. However, this thought was overcome by a stronger desire to share more about my life and also an avenue to jot down my thoughts, growth, struggles and many experiences (whether good or bad) in my journey with Christ. I also see it as a way to discipline myself to be more organised and keep track of my reflections on a regular basis.

As I mature, I am more and more convinced that good management of finance is rather important. Money itself it not evil but whether it is depends very much on how it is used and the intention of having it. I hope to grow in my knowledge on financial management, eventually with the hope that I will not have to toil till the end of my life but rather, to spend my days more productively on other areas and not having to worry about getting ends meet.

Recently, I gained some useful insights while reading "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" not so much on financial management though. It's my second time reading, now with great seriousness and the intention to apply some of the principles.

A few illustrations and quotes from the book which I found rather interesting and led me ponder further,

1) "Does teaching mean talking or a lecture?" (what Rich Dad said to 9yrs old Robert then, btw, Robert T. Kiyosaki is the author of the book)
Robert's reply, "Well, yes."
Rich Dad's reply,
" That's how they teach you in school," "But that is not how life teaches you and I would say that life is the best teacher of all. Most of the time, life does not talk to you. It just sort of pushes you around. Each push is life saying, Wake up. There's something I want you to learn."

To me this is very true and I draw a parallel to what I know from Proverbs 24:30-34

"I went past the field of the sluggard, past the vineyard of the man who lacks judgment; thorns had come up everywhere, the ground was covered with weeds, and the stone wall was in ruins. I applied my heart to what I observed and learned a lesson from what I saw: A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest- and poverty will come on you like a bandit and scarcity like an armed man. "

I concluded that for us to learn and grow, the issue is not about the lack of lessons we encounter or receive, it is whether we can first identify, be aware and subsequently applying them.

Rich Dad
" If you learn life's lessons, you will do well. If not, life will continue to push you around. People do two things. Some just let life push them around. Others, get angry and push back. But they push back against their boss, or their job or their husband or wife. They do not know it's life that is pushing."

"Life pushes all of us around. Some give up, others fight. A few learn the lesson and move on. They welcome life pushing them around. To these few people, it means they need and want to learn something. They learn and move on. Most quit and a few fight."

"Or if you are the kind of person who has no guts, you just give up every time life pushes you. If you are that kind of person, you will live all your life playing it safe, doing the right things, saving yourself for some event that never happens. Then, you will die a boring old man. You will have lots of friends who really love you because you were such a nice hard-working guy. You spent a life playing safe, doing the right things. But the truth is, you let life push you into submission. Deep down , you were terrified of taking risks. You really wanted to win, but the fear of losing was greater than the excitement of winning. Deep inside, you and only you know you didn't go for it. You chose to play it safe."

Next paragraph really hits me right at my face,
Rich Dad said,
"You'd best change your point of view. Stop blaming and think others are your problem. If you think others are the problem, then you have to change them. If you realise that you are the problem, then you can change yourself, learn something and grow wiser. Most people want everyone else in the world to change but themselves. Let me tell you, it's easier to change yourself than everyone else."

Finally, I have identified the root issue on why I have not been very joyful for the past few months. I have been blaming people for being my problem. I tend to fight when life pushes me around rather than learning from it and move on. Experiences that I had with my boss and my friends tells me so. It really sucked away the joy that I can have in Christ.

Deep down, I know something was wrong but I could not make sense of. Now I know why, it's the pride that I have, sometimes to admit that I am wrong and not always right. I need to stop fighting, learn and move on. I need to first of all change myself by His grace.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weaknesses." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
- 2 Cor 12:7-10.

God, pls help me. :)

::::In meditating mode:::::